As parents, we’ve all been there — our child is doing something we know is wrong, dangerous, or simply unacceptable, and our instinct is to raise our voice. A quick scolding feels like the fastest way to get the message across. But is it really the best approach?
Occasional scolding, in certain situations, may be harmless. In fact, when a child’s safety is at risk or when there’s extreme misbehaviour, a firm “no” or verbal correction is not only acceptable but necessary. But when scolding becomes frequent, it can leave a deeper mark than we realise — one that affects a child’s emotional well-being, self-esteem, and even their willingness to communicate openly.
Hidden impact
Too much scolding can lead to feelings of humiliation, stress, and anxiety in children. It may push them towards isolation, making them less likely to share their thoughts or confide in their parents. Over time, a child who constantly faces aggression may respond with aggression — and no parent wants to raise a rebel purely out of frustration.
Positive parenting
Discipline doesn’t have to come from a place of anger. Positive parenting focuses on being firm yet calm, setting clear boundaries, and following through with consistent consequences — without constant yelling. A child should know that when a parent says “no,” it means “no,” but they should also understand the reasoning behind it.
This is where quality communication comes in. Spending time together, talking through situations, and listening to your child builds trust. The message becomes: “I’m not here to control you; I’m here to guide you.” This approach strengthens the bond and ensures that children don’t see their parents as the “enemy.”
Riddhima Kapoor Sahni Writes About A Few Things That New Mothers Should ConsiderTeenagers and the fine line
Parenting teenagers is its own adventure. They’re naturally testing boundaries, and their rebellious streak can be strong. The key is to strike a balance — you’re not their “best friend,” but you’re also not an authoritarian figure who shuts down every conversation. When they know that your rules come from care, not control, they’re more likely to respect them.
In my own parenting journey, I’ve found that my daughter understands when I say “no” because she knows I mean it for her own good. She doesn’t push back endlessly because she trusts where I’m coming from. That trust didn’t happen overnight — it grew from many calm conversations, shared moments, and a clear understanding that respect flows both ways.
The right context
Let’s be honest — there will be moments when scolding is inevitable. If your child is about to run into a busy street, or is engaging in behaviour that could cause harm, an urgent, firm correction is the right response. But even then, it should be followed by a conversation — explaining why you reacted that way and helping them understand the consequences of their actions.
Riddhima Kapoor Sahni Writes About Teaching Kids The Value Of Needs vs LuxuriesThe takeaway
Scolding should never be the default parenting tool. Save it for the moments that truly demand it, and let calm, firm communication be your everyday approach. At the end of the day, our goal isn’t just to raise obedient children — it’s to raise thoughtful, confident, and emotionally secure human beings who know that home is a safe place for honesty and understanding.
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